For this weeks Me Myself and I blog post I took inspiration from one of my favorite YouTubers (Who I'm pretty sure hates being called that... Sorry Leesha) Xsparkage was one of the first channels I followed on YouTube and has been one of my top faves ever sense. Xsparkage (Leesha) does everything from makeup tutorials to fun vlogs with her family. Yesterday she posted a video titled 9 Things I Hate About Myself (And 9 Things I Love) I really liked the idea so I decided to take a note out of her book and do 5 Things I Hate About Myself (And 5 Things I Love) *In no particular order.*
I have been overtly self conscious my whole life. I don't like looking in mirrors unless I have to and even at that I don't spend a lot of time looking. I have been criticized for my looks my whole life. Even now with my adult acne and acne scars, I have super soft teeth do to the fact that I don't have a lot of enamor on them (I was sick a lot as a kid.) So they break easily. People jump to conclusions about me before they even talk to me. I really, really wish it was something I could just not care about and get over I am working on it. It's just easier said than done.
I am a pro at this. It's something that really needs to stop to be honest. Whether it's getting ready in the morning or doing a paper for a class I am queen of waiting tell the last possible minute.
It's a weird thing to not like about yourself. I tend to jump head first into things be it a relationship or friendship. It's not always a good thing to be the one who cares the most in a situation because I always end up being the one who gets hurt in the end.
I have something called Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), It is a type of anxiety that doesn't need to have anything to trigger it. I can be having the best day ever and out of nowhere I will get hit with this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that something really bad is about to happen. Nothing ever does but it is an uncontrollable feeling. I also have something called Testing Anxiety (Yes its a real thing.) I can study for a test know all the answers frontward and backwards get A's and B's on every assignment and then when it comes to the test I blank everything I thought I knew I no longer remember any of it, Even if I had just been studying seconds before the test.
It's all apart of caring too much,
I love creating things for other people. Writing a short story and hearing all the positive reactions from people is the best. I also love creating things like banners and other such things for my the website or my twitter page or Facebook.
Those are the things that mean the most to me in the worlds.
There is no better feeling in the world then helping someone do something. I have been volunteering sense I was really little. I have always been told and believe fullheartedly that it is better to give than receive.
This is something I just kind of fell into. Whether its nature shots, posed, action, or candid I love it all. I really need to start uploading more of the stuff I do on here. My mom has told me I am the worst person to go on a walk with because I'm constantly stopping to take pictures of things, One of my favorite photo series is my Paris In My Pocket series (Link above, Click Paris In My Pocket for a bunch of candid shots or click on any of the mini series in the drop box.) The series started when I bought a bottle of perfume that came with a small Eiffel Tower charm, I had been wanting to do a series of photos where I took something around and took pictures of it in random places and the charm was perfect. I am planning on taking a digital photography class at the college this Winter.
I have loved music my whole life I don't go a day with out it. I listen to everything from Ozzie Osbourne to Harry Styles. I love how music can take you back to a memory in life or connect you with people you never would have thought to talk to before. It's amazing that something so simple as a song can mean so much to one person or how the right song can change your whole day.